Welcome to My Diary


My name is McKenzie Stewart. I am Married to a wonderful man and currently live in Florida. I have had 9 miscarriages and no children.


I have started this blog for 2 reasons. One being for others. I try not to tell everyone that I'm pregnant, but when I have to go on bed rest and suddenly I'm absent in the world, a few people have to find out. I try to keep the pity after a miscarriage to a minimum by staying positive, but I know there are lots of questions and gaps to be filled in.


And the most important reason I started this blog is for me. This is my escape and my therapy. This is personal and I put everything out there. My life is filled with blessings and happiness but it would be a lie to say that these miscarriages haven't made a significant impact in my life.


All the feelings that I've kept inside are now out.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Drama at the Doctor's

Today I got my 12 blood tests. I didn't do so hot. I won't know the test results for a week, but during the actual procedure, I totally failed. Before they even got the needles out, they said to me "How about we move you to a bed instead?" Was I already looking that pathetic? I am grateful for that bed though. And for Ben talking to me about all the details of our upcoming cruise.

They brought in a doctor afterwards just to check to see if I was alright. She couldn't hide her overly concerned and nearly horrified face. But I showed her I was fine, and walked out of there joking all the way to the car. I finally agreed to let Ben drive home. Then I passed out in the car... then woke up and got sick... twice.

I was rewarded with food at Downtown Disney :).

My arm was in such pain the entire way home. I finally got the nerve to remove the bandage expecting black and blue all over to match the pain. Nope. A red dot. Can you even call that a dot? A spec. A red spec was all I had to show for the terrible pain.

Now I wonder, was it really worth knowing? We could just try a few medications and see what happens. Trial and error and we'll figure it out eventually right? Well it's over and if they missed a test it's just too bad.

Now I get to take a nap thanks to my wonderful hubby who took the dogs on a 2 mile walk in 100 degree weather. Thats a lot for 4 inch legs. They'll be out for a few hours :)

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