Welcome to My Diary


My name is McKenzie Stewart. I am Married to a wonderful man and currently live in Florida. I have had 9 miscarriages and no children.


I have started this blog for 2 reasons. One being for others. I try not to tell everyone that I'm pregnant, but when I have to go on bed rest and suddenly I'm absent in the world, a few people have to find out. I try to keep the pity after a miscarriage to a minimum by staying positive, but I know there are lots of questions and gaps to be filled in.


And the most important reason I started this blog is for me. This is my escape and my therapy. This is personal and I put everything out there. My life is filled with blessings and happiness but it would be a lie to say that these miscarriages haven't made a significant impact in my life.


All the feelings that I've kept inside are now out.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Visits from Family

I am SOOOOOO EXCITED that my parents and little brother are coming to visit me tomorrow!!! Moving to Florida this year has been the first time I really moved away from my family and out of my comfortable bubble. I've lived in Las Vegas since I was 2, had the same best friends since I was 2, and many of the same neighbors and church friends since I was 2. I had a pretty comfortable bubble. Ben is the same way. The Stewart family practically settled Las Vegas, and he made his own bubble there. Yea I went away to college for a little while. but thats different. They pick your friends for you when they put you in dorms and classes with people just like you. Moving to Florida has been way out of my element.

I've talked about the Tillotson's a lot and they have helped me adjust to life outside of my bubble by becoming a family and befriending me. And I am so grateful for that.

But I thrive on these visits from my parents and I am so excited that Tanner is coming with them this time. Tanner is 6 years younger than me but he is the closest to me, in age and relationship. My older brothers are close in age, so as I child I made friends in my baby brother. I eventually learned that picking on him wasn't the best way to strengthen our relationship and now I think he might actually like me. I'm super excited to see him and my parents. The puppies will be excited too :)


Tomorrow's Post: "Throwback Thursday: My 21st Birthday"

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