Drama at the Doctor's

Today I got my 12 blood tests. I didn't do so hot. I won't know the test results for a week, but during the actual procedure, I totally failed. Before they even got the needles out, they said to me "How about we move you to a bed instead?" Was I already looking that pathetic? I am grateful for that bed though. And for Ben talking to me about all the details of our upcoming cruise.

They brought in a doctor afterwards just to check to see if I was alright. She couldn't hide her overly concerned and nearly horrified face. But I showed her I was fine, and walked out of there joking all the way to the car. I finally agreed to let Ben drive home. Then I passed out in the car... then woke up and got sick... twice.

I was rewarded with food at Downtown Disney :).

My arm was in such pain the entire way home. I finally got the nerve to remove the bandage expecting black and blue all over to match the pain. Nope. A red dot. Can you even call that a dot? A spec. A red spec was all I had to show for the terrible pain.

Now I wonder, was it really worth knowing? We could just try a few medications and see what happens. Trial and error and we'll figure it out eventually right? Well it's over and if they missed a test it's just too bad.

Now I get to take a nap thanks to my wonderful hubby who took the dogs on a 2 mile walk in 100 degree weather. Thats a lot for 4 inch legs. They'll be out for a few hours :)

All Kinds of Trouble

Long time no blog. Thats a good thing on this blog since I created it to cope with miscarriage. It's June and so far 0 miscarriages for 2013! 2013 has been meant to be the year with no miscarriages since I want to give my body and mind a break. Super Success.

Today after my Doctor visit, Ben said "You should post this on your blog" then he told me that he missed reading it. So if nothing else, I'm posting this for him to read on his upcoming lunch break. Love you honey ;)

I got a new Doctor here in Windermere whom I LOVE and adore! It's a new practice super close to us and because they're so knew, they're super slow and available all the time! LOVE IT! I had my first appointment there last Wednesday and I was there for 2 hours! We talked and talked about every one of the symptoms I've ever had in life. She told me a few things that she thinks I have and had me immediately get tested. Yesterday was the last of those tests, and the results: I have everything she thought I had. Why is this the first time a Dr. has decided I may have more than one thing wrong with me? In the past we found out what was wrong, treated it, and failed. And I got frustrated. I love my new Dr. and all the time and concern she has shown towards me.

I am getting 12 more blood tests. How many more things can be wrong with me? I don't understand most of it, but thats okay right now, because she is still learning exactly what is going on, then we will treat it. I do know theres something up with my hormones, and cysts growing all over inside me, and I have something that means I could get diabetes easy, and I have way to much yeast in my body. I'm sure she is on the ready to explain this all to me once she has a better understanding herself. I'm thinking she doesn't want to freak me out too much.

I guess I'll just let you all know when I know. Even though I'm finding out that there might be a whole lot wrong with me, I'm super happy just to actually find out what is wrong. Who da thunk, it is more than just one thing! Just like my Dr., I think we'll be getting preggers pretty easy at the end of all of this.

Throwback Thursday: My 21st Birthday

Read about my 21st birthday HERE. It may surprise you.

http://mckenziestewartphotography.blogspot.com/2012/06/21-acts-of-kindness.html

Visits from Family

I am SOOOOOO EXCITED that my parents and little brother are coming to visit me tomorrow!!! Moving to Florida this year has been the first time I really moved away from my family and out of my comfortable bubble. I've lived in Las Vegas since I was 2, had the same best friends since I was 2, and many of the same neighbors and church friends since I was 2. I had a pretty comfortable bubble. Ben is the same way. The Stewart family practically settled Las Vegas, and he made his own bubble there. Yea I went away to college for a little while. but thats different. They pick your friends for you when they put you in dorms and classes with people just like you. Moving to Florida has been way out of my element.

I've talked about the Tillotson's a lot and they have helped me adjust to life outside of my bubble by becoming a family and befriending me. And I am so grateful for that.

But I thrive on these visits from my parents and I am so excited that Tanner is coming with them this time. Tanner is 6 years younger than me but he is the closest to me, in age and relationship. My older brothers are close in age, so as I child I made friends in my baby brother. I eventually learned that picking on him wasn't the best way to strengthen our relationship and now I think he might actually like me. I'm super excited to see him and my parents. The puppies will be excited too :)


Tomorrow's Post: "Throwback Thursday: My 21st Birthday"

A Personal look into our Marriage

My husband is severely hearing impaired. Also known as deaf. He's been deaf since he was a baby. He wears hearing aids to help hear, but theres only so much they can do.

I'm pretty sure that our marriage has struggles that others may not have. Have you ever said to your husband "You're not listening to me!" which he may have responded with "Yes I am." Well it's a little different for us when we're signing to each other and he turns his back to me mid conversation. How do you "listen" to sign language when you're looking at your computer instead of the person. The problem that I face most of the time, is that other people watch us and analyze our relationship. It's easy to judge somebody when you don't understand them. If somebody were to watch that situation, they won't not see that I was mid sentence when he decided to ignore me, all they see is that I'm frustrated.

When I need to tell something to Ben without announcing it to the entire room, I have to sign. Talking quietly in his ear or whispering doesn't work, he won't get anything I say. I understand that when we sign to each other in front of friends and family, you feel its rude. Very rude. But we feel it's rude when you whisper to another person, or even talk quietly out of earshot. How is it any different? Sometimes I want to tell something to Ben without announcing it to everyone, like I forgot my tampon at home, just like you want to whisper sometimes. We're not talking smack behind your back. Our options are either talk very loudly or sign.

One way I have found to relate to Ben and try to understand his hearing lose is by putting on head phones, turning up the music, and try to listen to people talking around me. I can hear their mumbles, but it's impossible for me to make out anything their saying. Especially when they're not facing me. This is why it's important to look at Ben when you talk to him. I think it's absolutely incredible that Ben can make out words from the mumbles he hears. And he can't be sure he ever understands what you said at all when you're not looking at him. So sometimes he has to take his best guess. If he had to ask you to repeat yourself after every sentence, you would both get tired of that very fast, so sometimes when he has no idea what you said, he just nods along hoping he'll catch something so he can pretend to understand. Many times I'll tell him something or ask him to do something and he replies with "I love you too". I then get a second chance to change my request or forget my criticism.

In addition to hearing the world as mumbles he can't here high pitches or certain sounds like ch, th, or s.  Unfortunately he seems to not be able to hear the word "don't" very well. Which can cause many problems, especially when I'm asking him to specifically not to do something. He also has a hard time hearing alarms or timers, so I have to tell him when the oven timer goes off or if the fire alarm is beeping.

This hearing lose makes it hard working in a kitchen where things beep and people yell out "hot pan" when they're walking behind you with something that could do a lot of damage. Ben had a very hard time finding an internship in Las Vegas, once the employer found out he was deaf. He would volunteer to work for free and just take out the trash and still people would turn him away. I am so proud of him for landing his awesome internship at one of Disney World's top restaurants! Citricos is voted number 3 in Disney's top restaurants, neck and neck with number 2. Over 200 people applied for the internship from the Las Vegas Le Cordon Bleu alone, and Ben is the only one who got it, and not only did he get a Disney internship, but he's at one of Disney's very best restaurants. Then when he expressed interest in staying at Citricos after his internship, he was hired on as full time! An accomplishment few interns pull off. I am so proud of Ben! And I am one lucky wife!

"My New Life"

I recently read the book " Heaven is Here" which I consider to be a must read. It's the story of Stephanie Nielsen written by Stephanie Nielsen. Stephanie survived a plane crash with 80% of her skinned burned off. If you ever want to stop feeling bad for yourself, read her story. Here is a short video summing up her journey and the lesson you should learn from it. Stephanie also is the author of the blog of nienie diaries.

Tomorrow's Post: "A Personal look into our Marriage"

Ben's Story

Ben has been deaf since he was a baby.

Ben was born and raised in Las Vegas. After birth, Ben had a seizure which caused a significant hearing lose.

Ben graduated from Del Sol High School then went on a two year mission to San Francisco, CA for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Within a month of being home from his mission, Ben and I met and we were married one year later.

Ben started and completed 2 years of school in hopes of becoming a teacher, but with the teacher hire freeze, he decided to pursue other career choices until a teacher career might be a possibility. Ben always wanted to be either a teacher or a chef. So Ben and I went and attended a tour of the Le Cordon Bleu culinary school. Ben fell in love with the school and was enrolled in the next semester.

He had to put in much additional work, but Ben was able to complete his schooling at Le Cordon Bleu without any special assistance. Even so, Ben had a hard time finding an employer willing to take on a deaf chef for his required internship. The kitchen works in a way where commands and orders are yelled out and when a hot pan or plate is passing behind you, a verbal warning is given. So not being able to hear the oven timers was not his only struggle. Even when Ben volunteered to work for free as an intern, employers would not even consider him.

Ben eventually found Ventano italian grill in Henderson and they allowed Ben to work as an unpaid intern. Ben was first asked to just come in the mornings to prep before the kitchen got too busy, but very quickly the chefs saw Ben's skill and work ethic and Ben was asked to come in during the evenings and was hired to do outside catering jobs which brought in a little money. Those mornings became completely beneficial to Ben. In the mornings, only Mr Ventano, the head chef and owner, was there with Ben. Ben was able to learn, one on one, directly from Mr. Ventano.

As Ben's internship requirements came to an end, it looked like Ventano was not in a place to hire Ben as a cook (They later offered Ben a job, but they were too late), so Ben went looking for a job else where. Again Ben went through many rejections. Ben searched all over Las Vegas and Henderson for a job. We had no plans to ever leave the Las Vegas area since both of our family's lives in Las Vegas and I had a good job in Las Vegas, but Ben was unable to find an employer willing to hire a deaf chef.

So we decided to try Disney. It was a long shot. A career at Disney would be more than we could ever ask for. A Disney representative was coming to Le Crodon Bleu in Las Vegas to give a presentation and interview students and recent graduates for a culinary internship. Disney was a long shot, but an internship would be Ben's best chance at getting in. Ben only had a 6 month period after graduation to start an internship at Disney until the internship opportunity would be closed to him.

I was able to go to the presentation with Ben, but the interview slots filled up too fast and Ben did not get on the list. The representative was only able to interview 200 people while he was in town so Ben was told to sign up for a telephone interview. Ben wasn't willing to accept this fate. A phone interview would be difficult for Ben since he can't hear. Accommodations could be made, but none of the telephone options were as good as an in person interview with no special accomidationis. So Ben went in to the school where the interviews took place every morning 1 hour before the Disney Representative arrived. Finally, on the last day, the Disney representative arrived just a few minutes early and gave Ben his interview.

Ben felt confidant that he did his best during his interview and was able to use his experience from Ventano to help him greatly. The interviewer even hinted that Ben was likely to get the internship. After a hard few weeks, Ben got the internship. Not only did he get a Disney internship, but he got hired at one of the top Disney restaurants. Citricos was the best restaurant that Ben could ever land at. It's fine dinning and one of the few Disney restaurants with a changing menu. And one of the few restaurants where the cooks and chefs are there for the passion and not just for the money.  We later found out that Ben was the only one hired out of the hundreds interviewed at the Le Cordon Bleu, Las Vegas.

We moved to Florida in late February and Ben began working on March 3rd. We bought a new house in Windermere, Florida, but it took longer than expected to finish being built, so we stayed in a hotel in Kissimmee. The hotel was dumpy and scary but one of our only options with our 2 dogs.

We moved into our home in late April while Ben was still doing his Disney Culinary Internship. It was a bold move for us to buy our home because in June, Ben's internship would be over and we would have to look for a job all over again. There was almost no chance that Citricos would need to hire a new cook at the exact same time that Ben would finish his internship and that Ben would be hired for the spot. But Ben's hard work and proven skill landed him the job at Citricos only 2 days after his internship was completed.

Ben is so happy at his job. He loves the work and he loves his co workers. Ben wants to be a Dad even more than I want to be a mom and I know that one day he will make the most amazing dad! He already does such an amazing job with the children I regularly babysit. I'm notoriously bugged by the fact that babies and children like Ben more than me. He has a magic touch. He was made to be a daddy and he will be one day.