Welcome to My Diary


My name is McKenzie Stewart. I am Married to a wonderful man and currently live in Florida. I have had 9 miscarriages and no children.


I have started this blog for 2 reasons. One being for others. I try not to tell everyone that I'm pregnant, but when I have to go on bed rest and suddenly I'm absent in the world, a few people have to find out. I try to keep the pity after a miscarriage to a minimum by staying positive, but I know there are lots of questions and gaps to be filled in.


And the most important reason I started this blog is for me. This is my escape and my therapy. This is personal and I put everything out there. My life is filled with blessings and happiness but it would be a lie to say that these miscarriages haven't made a significant impact in my life.


All the feelings that I've kept inside are now out.

Friday, November 30, 2012

3 Rocking Chairs

I've said it before, and I'm good at repeating myself, I dream of rocking my baby in a rocking chair one day. I love rocking chairs, always have. They sooth me and I want to sooth and cherish my baby in one. When I moved out of my parents house, I took with me the rocking chair my mom got with her first child. That rocking chair is now in our nursery. We hope to fill that nursery one day, but it currently serves as a second guest room and a nursery to the babies we watch in our home.

My second rocking chair I go for my birthday a month ago. Ben splurged and bought me the cracker barrel rocking chair when he saw it on clearance. It sits on my porch and I love it! I love sitting out there when I need a breath of fresh air and when I need to calm a fussy baby. This chair was super handy during bed rest and I wanted to get out of the house.

The last rocking chair was given to me by my dear friends, the Tilitson's, when their neighbors left it behind. This rocking chair will be in our living room. That way I can rock our future baby all the time.

3 rocking chairs may seem and even be excessive, but I feel a strong desire and need for each one. I love rocking chairs and the dream of using them one day. I can't wait to snuggle and rock my future baby.







And a little secret I have, I want one more rocking chair. I want an elegant lay-z boy style rocking chair in our bedroom that Ben could appreciate as well.




Tomorrow's post: "Ben's Story"

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